A Very Reluctant Detox

Recently I found myself hitting a bit of a low point. I was totally stressed out, always feeling exhausted and there were points during the month where I took moodiness to a whole new level. Now it just happened that my husband was also very stressed at this point as was our son, who had exams in the offing. So a holiday was suggested. This sounded like a very good idea, so off we went for a week in the Cyprus sunshine. The first few days were idyllic. We laid by the pool, swam, visited the spa and totally relaxed. In the evenings, cocktails at seven led to dinner at eight, and after a walk in the evening breezes we would retire early and sleep like babies. Perfect.

Now, how often have you heard a friend complain that they no sooner went on holiday than they got sick? Well, that’s what happened to my husband and I. Clearly we had waited too long to take a break from the rat race because suddenly two people who had not been sick in literally years picked up a bacterial infection that made them feel utterly awful.

Aside from getting the appropriate treatment, my husband and I decided that perhaps it might be time to do a little light detoxing. This was not a decision I reached easily.

In fact, not so long ago, my yoga teacher suggested that I give up caffeine. I was horrified. My morning cup of coffee was sacrosanct, and I have always felt that any grumpiness exhibited before this cup of coffee was not only to be tolerated, it was to be expected. I’ve tried to moderate my caffeine intake before, limiting it to three caffeinated beverages a day. This was accomplished with a great deal of stress and was not usually very successful. Without sounding too negative, I tried to explain to my yoga teacher that this was a Very Bad Idea. After all, I was feeling exhausted as it was and without caffeine surely I would be even worse. “Caffeine,” she said to me patiently, “is the reason you are walking round exhausted. You are complaining of fatigue and stress. Aside from practicing yoga, you need to think about what you are putting in your body.”

She then proceeded to gently explain that everything I put in my mouth, from my first bite of toast in the morning to my glass of wine in the evening, affects how I feel. Now, I’ve known for years this is true in principle, but it is one of the facts of life I prefer to ignore. The 21st Century Housewife’s Kitchen is not a place where you often hear the word detox. I enjoy the finer things in life and I love to share them with my friends. Wine, champagne, rich coffee and dark chocolate all have a place in my kitchen, alongside truffle oil, good fillet steak and a nice bottle of vintage port.

I have always been blessed with good health. I do drink lots of water, at least a couple of litres a day, and I watch what I eat both for reasons of appearance and health. I also exercise regularly and practice yoga. I have not even had so much as a cold in the last four years. But clearly I was sick now, and I needed to do something.

I decided to finally listen to my yoga teacher and drop the caffeine, and as we were taking antibiotics, my husband and I also decided to give alcohol a miss for a week or so. This was not a hardship for my husband, who has always been able to take or leave alcohol and who rarely finishes a cup of tea. For me, it was a decision taken very reluctantly. I love my coffee and my wine, and even knowing that I was not giving it up forever was making me feel really uncomfortable. I mean, wine was my great indulgence after the working day was over, and especially in these days of bad news all round the markets (both financial markets and supermarkets!) it was something I really looked forward to. I wanted to feel better though, and so very reluctantly committed to drop both wine and alcohol at the same time.

I was fascinated to discover that I found it easier to give up my glass of wine than my coffee. If you had asked me, I always would have said if I had to trade in coffee or wine, the coffee would go. But amazingly giving up the wine had absolutely no negative physical or mental effects on me at all. I’m not saying I didn’t fancy a glass, but it was just a matter of saying “no” to myself and that was it. Caffeine was a different story.

Three painful days into our detox, I was stressed out, tired, and had a caffeine withdrawal headache that could make me understand how the mythical Zeus might have felt when Athena burst forth from his head. It was taking a great deal of self control to prevent me from heading straight for the nearest Starbuck’s – or at least having a nice glass of Sauvignon Blanc. However, after some thought, I was horrified to realise that if someone asked me what my top “cure” for stress or anxiety would be, my choices would be to have a coffee or (if it was the evening) a glass of wine. The shock of this realisation gave me all the willpower I needed to power through the caffeine withdrawal and pass on the Sauvignon.

Now, after nearly a week with absolutely no liquid caffeine at all (there is a line, I’m not giving up chocolate!) and no alcohol, I feel much more energised, I’m sleeping better and I have not been moody at all. Also the three o’clock slump is a thing of the past. I am also delighted to say we are both nearly better.

They say there is a reason for everything and whilst I am not very happy about coming back from holiday sick, or the stressful week we have had because of it, I have learned something very important. Caffeine, alcohol, sugar, indeed everything we put in our mouths has a consequence. I don’t honestly think we realise how easy it is to develop a habit totally unwittingly. I mean, it’s not like a couple of glasses of wine makes you an alcoholic, nor that caffeine is the worst thing for you. (In fact there are those who would argue that coffee is actually beneficial to your health.) But this last week or so has taught me that many of the things we use to perk us up or help us to relax are often accomplishing the exact opposite.

The other amazing side effect to this rather unwilling detox is that I have lost a huge amount of weight. I never weigh myself, but my trousers are hanging off my waist and my stomach is almost washboard flat. (I do a lot of sit ups, but up until now I have never had results like this.) It turns out that although a small amount of caffeine can have a diuretic effect, too much can actually dehydrate the body and thus cause water retention. Of course, alcohol does this too, and that is before we even start to talk about the calories in my favourite Sauvignon or a latte.

It turns out that for me, caffeine is not really a good idea at all, and when I am not drinking a glass of wine every evening, I feel more energetic and healthy. So is the 21st Century Household destined to become a Teetotal Temple to Decaffeinated Bliss? Somehow I don’t think so. Good wine is one of my great pleasures in life and if anyone opens a bottle of champagne, I expect to be offered some. However, now I’ll really think before having a second (or third) glass. As for caffeine, I live in England. It's positively unpatriotic not to drink tea.

However, detoxing has made some very good economic sense for us. Seriously – add up how much you spend on caffeinated drinks and alcohol in a week. Most of you will be surprised. When I did it, I was staggered. I’ve saved about $50 on wine alone (my husband and I probably drink about three to four bottles between us in a week), and that’s before we get anywhere near a Starbuck’s.

If you feel inspired by this, I do recommend that you cut back slowly on caffeine to avoid the mind bending headaches I described, eliminating (or replacing with decaffeinated) one cup of coffee or tea a day over a period of a few weeks. Remember that drinks like cola and even soda can have caffeine in them as well. As for alcohol, the odd glass of wine can do you good. Just remember, “everything in moderation”. Too much is too much. And you don’t need that seven o’clock cocktail or glass of wine every day (honestly you don’t, I’m proof of that!). Try doing something else, maybe going to the gym or treating yourself to a nice walk a couple of evenings a week instead. You will definitely feel better for it. Incidentally, Vacuvin wine saver is a great way to seal a bottle of wine so that it still tastes delicious even a couple of days later – so there is no “we need to finish the bottle” excuse.

It may seem odd for someone who writes about food, wine and travel to be preaching moderation, but I have an almost evangelical zeal to share my experience of how simply moderating a couple of things can make a huge difference to how you feel. Despite the fact I am only just fully recovered from my illness, I have loads more energy than I did before and I’m sleeping better too.

Why not choose to have “a little of what you fancy” from time to time so that you can really enjoy it when you do? It’s better for you, your pocketbook and the planet.

PS- This afternoon on a long drive I desperately needed something to perk me up so I succumbed to a cup of tea. After so many days without it I found it tasted pretty awful (mind you it was from the motorway services!) but it made me high as a kite. I actually got the giggles, much to my son’s intense embarrassment. I’m still so full of energy I’m buzzing. If I ever had any doubts that caffeine is a drug, I sure don’t now!